So, today, Jack and I were eating a snack. Animal crackers. Of course, the point of animal crackers is that you get to learn about animals as you are eating them. So here is the conversation between Jack and I as I pull the animal crackers from the box…

Horsey! Neigh!

Moo cow. Moo.

Kitty cat. Meow. Meow.

Elephant (with a really large trunk).

Camel. Puh-tooey! (that’s supposed to be the word for spitting).

Alright… This one’s a little harder. Maybe a sheep. Maybe a billy goat. Either way, Baa! Baa!

Hmmm. I think this is a rhinoceros, honey. I’m not sure. Uhh, whatever it is, it is apparently a male, judging by the extra cookie between its legs.

Llama! No, doggie! Donkey? Uh…help.

Pause. Pause. An anteater that got its nose bit off! Let’s just eat it and put it out of its misery, okay?

You got me. I only could look at it and think it was an otter. That would be weird to have as an animal cookie, though.

Clueless. Something that is missing a face. If you see one of these, don’t go up and play with it, bub.

This has got to be the clencher. Whatever it is, honey, I wouldn’t let you eat it in real life.

There really ought to be some sort of guide on the side of the box. I’m going to write them about it. Okay, no I’m not, because I don’t care. Anybody have any brilliant insight into the animal mutants of the cookie world?