Last Halloween, there was a tiny sumo wrestler running around my house… This year, I went out in my yard to find a little gnome rummaging through my flowers. He was so cute, so I decided to keep him for always.

So here’s the story. I keep on finding my yard mowed and new flowers blooming when I go outside, so I thought there must be a neighbor doing all of this for me. But yesterday, I went outside, and I saw a little blue hat running around my car. I thought, “What was that?” Thankfully, I caught up with the little blue hat, and discovered a little garden gnome, no taller than my knee, trying his hardest to hide from me.


Once I caught up with him, though, he was VERY bossy. First, he told me my grass had gotten too long again and he was very upset about it.


Then he went up on my porch and started telling me how I needed to water my flowers more and get better pots for them.


He got so mad at how badly I took care of my garden that he was about to leave. But, then, my roommate Natalie managed to distract him from leaving by giving him a pumpkin to look at, which he got very curious about.


While he was distracted by the pumpkin, I grabbed a pillowcase and caught him in it. I’m not going to put a picture up of that so that he won’t ever try to criminally prosecute me for kidnapping him. I’m hoping he’ll just forget…

For scientific purposes, here is what a gnome face looks like:


And here are what gnome feet look like. Notice the slightly inturned nature of their position:


And here is a gnome butt. I’ve always been curious as to what a gnome butt looks like. I thought there might be others that share this secret curiosity:


Anyway, I’m so happy I caught him. Everybody should try to meet him if they get the chance. My little gnome and I wanted to tell you Happy Halloween!

(Oh, and here is the less than 2 months old Sumo Wrestler from last year. I originally cut his diaper into a thong, but then he got hungry and while I was feeding him, he pooped and it came out the sides all over me. Bad call. Apparently this picture is taken post-pooping on me. With his papa, too.)