Last night, Jack went pee in his potty for the first time. Honestly, it was more of an accident, as I pulled off his diaper, sat him on the potty for at least 5 minutes without so much as a drop. Finally he got bored, stood up, and immediately started peeing all over the bathroom floor. I then managed to suavely sit him on his potty to finish, and then went giddy with excitement over my baffled offspring after he had finished his business. I’ve been talking and thinking about it all day, so proud am I.

My extreme excitement over this event led my trail of thoughts back to 2 days ago, when I had changed a particularly offensive diaper of Jack’s. I sat for 20 minutes afterward, and still kept getting whiffs of the unpleasantries, though the diaper had been properly sealed away from all of humanity, and a general check of Jack assured me of his stinklessness. After that 20 minutes had passed was when I noticed my shirt had a nice smear of poo all over it, and I had been sitting in it the entire 20 minutes. It was me that stank. Very badly.

It’s funny how though both incidences were similarly bathroomic (yes, that’s a word…in Lauren world), but one was the highlight of my week and the other was the lowlight of my week.

It’s also funny that Jack has started a terrible habit of putting his hand down women’s shirts to feel their breasts, and how not to do THIS is the main lesson we are learning this week.

Truly, truly, I am the parent of a toddler. Poo, pee, and copping a feel are the topics of conversation today. I will post no pictures. Signing off.