Last night, Jack went pee in his potty for the first time. Honestly, it was more of an accident, as I pulled off his diaper, sat him on the potty for at least 5 minutes without so much as a drop. Finally he got bored, stood up, and immediately started peeing all over the bathroom floor. I then managed to suavely sit him on his potty to finish, and then went giddy with excitement over my baffled offspring after he had finished his business. I’ve been talking and thinking about it all day, so proud am I.
My extreme excitement over this event led my trail of thoughts back to 2 days ago, when I had changed a particularly offensive diaper of Jack’s. I sat for 20 minutes afterward, and still kept getting whiffs of the unpleasantries, though the diaper had been properly sealed away from all of humanity, and a general check of Jack assured me of his stinklessness. After that 20 minutes had passed was when I noticed my shirt had a nice smear of poo all over it, and I had been sitting in it the entire 20 minutes. It was me that stank. Very badly.
It’s funny how though both incidences were similarly bathroomic (yes, that’s a word…in Lauren world), but one was the highlight of my week and the other was the lowlight of my week.
It’s also funny that Jack has started a terrible habit of putting his hand down women’s shirts to feel their breasts, and how not to do THIS is the main lesson we are learning this week.
Truly, truly, I am the parent of a toddler. Poo, pee, and copping a feel are the topics of conversation today. I will post no pictures. Signing off.
7 February, 2008 at 12:04 pm
His first pee in a potty! that is super fun!
7 February, 2008 at 2:38 pm
Bahahahahahaha! I laughed a lot at this post. So hilarious!
7 February, 2008 at 4:35 pm
And that’s why I don’t want kids…among other reasons
7 February, 2008 at 5:30 pm
I remember once when Callie was about two, she put both of her hands on the chest of one particularly bosomic woman (like bathroomic)and said “You got TWO babies in your tummy?”
7 February, 2008 at 6:57 pm
Paul’s sister teaches Pre-K, and she has a particularly difficult little boy this year whose gotten into lots of mishaps. When at parent teacher night, she pulled the little boy’s dad aside to talk about his behavior, his dad responded by saying, “Well, you know, its a problem. You see, cause he really responds well to…um…teachers with larger breasts…”. Paul’s sister is a petite person with average sized- ahem — chest area. She was totally outraged that this father would somehow justify his son’s bad behavior based off the fact she wasn’t large enough! Can you imagine? What is it with kids and boobs?
7 February, 2008 at 7:42 pm
Leslie: that is so funny, i laughed out loud.
Erin: are boys not just miniature men? i think it’s a good excuse. i’m gonna make sure all of jack’s teachers are “bosomic” based off that story. i don’t want him misbehaving because of some flatsy fiona!
7 February, 2008 at 9:24 pm
OMG – this post was hilarous… I love it… “copping a feel” .. i am still laughing! :) I only have a girl, and another girl on the way… I don’t know what on earth i would do with a boy… kudos to you for handling i all with such grace… and humor. I mean how can you not just laugh. I am picturing how awkward it is to have a dog that humps everyone that comes in the door and how you handle that… but then to picture a new guest coming over to your place who is well, um, well endowed… and Jack’s eyes popping out of his head and him slipping her a fast one. Ha ha! Gotta love it. :)
7 February, 2008 at 11:04 pm
Lauren-
I don’t know you. That being said I really do love you sister. I love that you will be with my dearest Nattie up in Seatle. I love knowing that she will be loved on and will continue in loving on you and your precious boy. I saw your post from a while ago with the comment about the house. I’m wondering if you are needing to rent or to sell? I will be needing a place around June-ish. Send me an e-mail, if anything I would love to get to know one of the ladies who gets to spend some time with miss Natalie Ruth.
P.S. Congratulations on the first pee in the potty. I hope it’s only the first!
7 February, 2008 at 11:55 pm
You just made me almost pee in my pants from laughing — I deem the the ‘flatsy fiona’ comment a new inside joke. Awesome. You crack me up.
8 February, 2008 at 7:31 am
Bathroomic!
I love you for that! We must improve society’s boringilistic vocabulary. I’m saying you are so on target.
8 February, 2008 at 8:52 am
Flatsy fiona!
9 February, 2008 at 12:54 pm
i so heard all of that going on as i was laying down to sleep. i laughed to myself. you were really really excited.
12 February, 2008 at 7:19 am
jack’s a boob man.
nathan would be proud.
12 February, 2008 at 8:29 am
ha ha! funny…