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I’ve been making a lot of jokes lately, but I’ll be honest and say that I’m just doing that because I’m pretty stressed right now… Yep, purty stressed. Have I mentioned that my parents are also moving out of their house right now? Yeah, they put their house up on the market the other day, while I’m getting mine ready for moving away from it. (I put up a backsplash all along my kitchen counter of corrugated tin, and can I just say that it looks SO good? I’m proud. I am woman, I do house remodeling stuff, hear me ROAR! Okay, resuming topic again.) My parent’s move is also somewhat emotional, because I grew up there, and Nate and I were married there. Yep, our wedding was at my parents’ house. It was a good one. You should have been there. So that will be gone, though it’s totally worth it for them to move if my dad doesn’t have to work as much.

My house, well, it will still be there. But I’m not sure that it will be the same if I ever move back into it. I just hope whoever I find to move into it cares for it and knows how much I cherish it. Especially since I’m letting Nate’s ashes go in the garden in a few days. I’m working up to it. I’ve tried twice already and failed.

I find it ironic that I’ve done all this work to it (it gets a new roof, new porch railing, new shutters later this week, kitchen is finally finished…all stuff I’ve wanted to do since we moved in 2 years ago), and it’s all just in time for [what will probably be] another newly wedded couple to move into it. The house I’ve always wanted, ready for someone else’s newly wedded bliss. Blah.

Can I just be real here and tell you that the thought of people having sex in my house really bothers me, too? I mean, come on! That’s kind of gross to think about… (My mom, a realtor, has this joke going at her office: “Okay, so Lauren only has 3 rules for potential renters: 1. No Smoking, 2. No Pets, 3. No Sex. That effectively narrows her population pool down to old college professor spinsters. Any takers?” And, then the room erupts in laughter, because everybody knows that’s ridiculous. Whatever.) Not that I don’t want newly married people to enjoy their wedded rights and all, but just not in my house. Especially the one that I spent most of my time in as a **single woman**… Dang it all! Hello? Ironic? Ahem. So… I’ve already emotionally prepared for that reality, and have realized I cannot idolize and hoard my house, and if married people move into it, they will and should be…ya know…doing it. I will even bless it by at least making the house prettier for them, and I’ll turn my “ugh” face into an innocent smile, like I’m-not-thinking-what-I’ll-really-be-thinking, when I hand them the key. But you better believe I’m taking down any and all mirrors attached in places around the house, cuz they’ll need to find their OWN mirrors! Not mine, baby! Ha! Maybe that’s too much information. Hmmm, yes, it is. Should I erase it? Nah…

This is a blah post where I try to roll up my tongue afterwards, go back to in a few weeks after everyone’s forgotten about it, and secretly erase it. I’m a young widow, a single mother of a toddler, embarking on a move across the country, and I’m a little stressed out about it all, thus I need to vent. So…blah. Hope you enjoyed it. :)

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