This weekend there were some interesting developments in Jack’s and my journey toward Seattle. I didn’t think I was going to be able to go to Seattle at all. Oh man, I have to say I was so upset. Here I had done all of these things to physically get ready, minus the actual packing, and so, so many more things to ready myself emotionally. Was all this emotional drain, and personal pep talks about how leaving my old life and starting a totally new one could be good, for nothing?

These were my thoughts and, I’ll be honest, I was feeling pretty sorry for myself. Sometimes, single parents can feel very vulnerable and unprotected (mainly because it’s not about them, but about their babies), and that’s how I was feeling. Also doubting the peace and hope I had been feeling about Seattle this whole time. Had I been wrong about Seattle? His answer was coming…

I had a friend in town last weekend. This particular friend is a close family friend of ours, and though we’ve always been friends, God has honored her in a way that I hope I am with someone one day. She is a prayer intercessor. And it first came on for my family right after Nate died. She’s told me she wakes up in the middle of the night, crying and praying for Nate, for me, for Jack. Thinking about us. Conversations with God about what the heck He is doing and has done with us. She’s special. So I don’t think it was a coincidence that maybe one of the people who shares with me the heaviest of the spiritual burden of all of this was in town during my ordeal.

So here’s what happens in the 24 hours after all my plans for Seattle seem to be wiped out. My friend, the prayer intercessor, suggests that I still go, but I should go alone. I say I can’t afford it. I know God wants me to stay at home with Jack right now, so going out to get a part-time job while Jack is in daycare just won’t cut it. Of course, I could do what I do now and nanny or something, I consented. She smiled knowingly in that annoying prayer intercessor sort of way and said He would work it out. I agreed. Pretty depressed, I called my mom and talked with her about it. I told her I just didn’t know if I could handle living completely alone in a strange city. Her words to me were this, “Lauren, when you are in situations like these, you have to think about what your hero would do. And your hero is Nathan. What would Nathan have done? Would he stay here and just let things happen to him? No, he would pack little Jack up on his back and he would go. And once he was there, he would love it. So think about Nathan and then decide if you want to do this.” And she was exactly right. Nathan would have gone anyway. And he would have thrived. So I decided to go, no matter what.

Within a few hours, someone offers me their monthly tithe. Within 6 hours, another prayer intercessor at church (who I’ve literally shook hands with one time; we’ve never had a real conversation…) sends an email to a friend who emails me and says that God had put me before her that morning and here was a verse I might need. I’ll give it to you at the end. By the second day, someone else had offered me their monthly tithe. And, the tithes are enough for us to make it up there. All of this without me asking anyone anything! Amazing.

There are still things to be worked out. I’ll still have to nanny a baby or something when I get up there, so there’s that. I still need to find a place up there. And now I’m not only leaving my house, but all my furniture too and anything else that can’t fit into my efficiency car. Yikes. That. Is. Very. Simple. At least, for a woman who owned a house and has a child. Whatever. I’m doing it. God’s going before me and I want to do it for Jack. I’d rather give up everything I own than to sit here on my precious pile of worldly rubble (as precious as it may be) and miss out on the life God is calling me to. Even if He doesn’t promise it’ll be easy.

Seattle, I’m still coming.

Thank You, God!

Habbakuk 3:19

The Lord God is my Strength, my personal bravery, and my invincible army; He makes my feet like hinds’ feet and will make me to walk [not to stand still in terror, but to walk] and make [spiritual] progress upon my high places [of trouble, suffering, or responsibility]!