One year, one half.
That’s how long it’s been since Nate died as of today… Has it really only been that long? Seems like many years. I miss him a lot and have been gloomy today. He was so handsome and strong, in more ways than one. I even unearthed a couple of love letters I had written him when we were dating, which was a treasure to find buried in old notebooks with budgets and obsolete phone numbers. Man, I was a good girlfriend. Ha ha. Either that or a really good love letter writer. Nate was a good love letter writer, too, but he was distinctly better at showing in his love in person. I’m especially appreciative at how affectionate he was, but I think he was best at the love of patience and consistency. You know, being steady in the way he loved me. That’s the hardest one probably, but I think that might be my favorite way of receiving love. I think it’s the way he blossomed me as a woman. He was pretty swell. Maybe you guys will get to meet him one of these days, in a place far from here.
But I don’t feel like talking about him much more right now. Really, I’ve just wanted to keep my thoughts about him to myself lately, like I’m protecting them or something. That, and I’m concentrating on just getting all the stuff that needs to be done. I’m in the middle of packing up my house. But most most most importantly, I’m trying to concentrate on spending as much time as I can with people I love before I leave on Thursday. Still didn’t get to everyone, though. I love my friends. There’re so many of you good ones out there that I’m going to miss. Good thing we live in an age of computers and airplanes where long distance doesn’t have to be that big of a deal.
Oh, and I’m speaking tomorrow (Wednesday) night at The Village for a prayer and fasting night for Burma. I hope I don’t trip up the stage and have my dress fly up, or start choking in the middle of speaking and have no water. Those are the stupid things I worry about rather than important messages that I’ve been asked to convey to people…Good grief. I need help.
28 May, 2008 at 5:41 am
happy year and a half in heaven nate! i heard some people talking about him in the office yesterday and i smiled. it’s so neat to see how much his life impacted those around him who never even knew him….
i’ll be at the church tonight and will look for you to say goodbye :) happy chicago!
28 May, 2008 at 7:13 am
Very very very excited for you!
28 May, 2008 at 9:21 am
A year and a half in Heaven…geez I wish I knew what that felt like:) mmm… I hope Jesus comes quickly so that we can all join in on the goodness. I have some advice for tonight…1. dont wear a dress and 2. maybe you could wear one of those drink back packs that runners wear with water in them that you can sip out of every now and then…let me know what you think… :)
28 May, 2008 at 9:24 am
Love you! Thanks for squeezing Brandon and me into your busy schedule this week. AND, my offer still stands if you need help at the very last minute. Love you!
28 May, 2008 at 12:20 pm
I will be praying for you both this week while you embark on your new adventure! Chicago here you come!
Blessings ~ Christi
28 May, 2008 at 4:11 pm
Lauren, when I tried to read your blog post on Burma out loud in our church service, I got choked up and I HAD water and it didn’t help. My voice just couldn’t come out anymore. Chris had to take over for me. But people really appreciated you writing it and us reading it.
I’m sorry we weren’t able to see you before you left, but I have a feeling we’ll being seeing you around. Chicago’s not as far as Sarajevo, or Burma. And I love a lot of people up there.
Love you.
28 May, 2008 at 4:13 pm
A year and a half. I didn’t anticipate you stumbling across memories while packing. Come to think of it, that’s what usually slows me down – I completely lose track of time…
Wish I could hear your report, tonight. I’m excited about what God has and is continuing to do, and the opportunity you had to be a part of it! Love you. I’m taking Friday off, the better to see you with…
29 May, 2008 at 8:46 am
You didn’t just do well speaking at church last night, you did really well. Ashlee presented the facts about Burma and gave us a real picture and the state of their state, then you followed it up with what really matters – the hearts of the people. You reminded us all how much others’ prayers mean when you’re brokenhearted. Prayers never get wasted, as we have so clearly evidenced in your life this past year and a half. Nathan would be so proud of his beloved bride – of the mom you are, of the organic cook you’ve become, of the people/places you’ve visited, of letting Jesus carry you so lovingly. I love you. Mom
31 May, 2008 at 8:16 am
Ditto.
I love you too. Mom-in-law.
1 June, 2008 at 7:22 pm
Hey Lauren and Jack,
i am sad I didnt get to get to see you before you left. Keep in touch. Do you like your bag?
E
1 June, 2008 at 11:52 pm
I must have missed saying bye to you while I was in New York. I love you! God used you neatly in my life in a time when I really needed a friend. And that’s neat to me! I hope Chicago is amazing! I will miss you!
3 June, 2008 at 10:47 pm
I have been reading your blog for some time now. I have been touched and inspired by you! What an amazing christianality you have. I was a young widow also with two young children and so it was ironic when I clicked on your blog to find this post. This date would have been my 30th anniversary with him. The past thirteen years have been filled with much.
I have not commented before but felt the need to tell you today that I have been keeping you and Jack in my prayers.
Many blessings to you in your new home.
neva