I sure hope everyone had a merry Christmas! Christmas went by relatively smoothly for me, which is a miracle in itself. I only got a little sad, except for when we went to the Christmas Eve service at church, and I suddenly felt sadness everywhere, realizing Nate should have been there. So, I sat there in the pew– I don’t think you could’ve seen an outward change on me if you were staring at me–and started to think of ways that would make me not be sad anymore. The best plan I could come up with was to quickly lean forward, bash my head into the back of the chair in front of me and knock myself out. In my mind’s eye, when I came to, everyone from church would be bustling about me, and I would no longer realize where I was or what had happened, much less be sad about Nate. Fortunately, I chose not to do this, for the sake of a beautiful service. Perhaps a little more wisely, I also came to the conclusion that knocking myself out in public places is not the way to deal with my problems.

And, for all my crazy thoughts, everyone around thought I was just normal and enjoying the Christmas service. Hmmm. Makes me wonder what the people sitting next to me in church or at restaurants are really thinking…

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